Thursday, February 16, 2012

I believe I can fly....

Taking parenting advice from someone without kids is a little like learning to fly a plane from someone who has only read the manual.

   This has been weighing on my mind for about 2 weeks now.  Just a random comment someone posted on Facebook.  The person that made the comment isn't a bad person, she's actually kind of enjoyable to talk with.  But, one comment has annoyed me. And I don't even remember the exact wording of the comment anymore, but I'm still irritated.  It was along the lines of thinking people aren't good parents because when they are feeding their infants they get on the computer, probably also thinks touching the evil computing machine any time the child is awake is also going to send you straight to mommy hell.  This particular person has no children and has had trouble conceiving, so I understand her belief, it's not an uncommon belief amongst those who have no kids, or who only have one that is less than a month old.  To that I simply say, "You're wrong."  Now it's ok she has the belief, as long as she's ok with being so very wrong.

Well why is she wrong you say?  *I* would never use the computer while my precious baby is awake or eating. That's just evil and wrong.  You don't have kids, do you?

Those without kids, or those who have a child less than a month old, or even those pregnant with their first sweet little bundle of joy have these glowing images of kinda prancing around the house on a cloud whistling while you do laundry, smiling over your sleeping bundle of joy, spending every spare moment writing down their every cry, fart, and smile, and taking long leisurely showers while their darling spouse plays with Junior, and of course, every diaper smells like a field of flowers.  Raise your hand if you also once had these delusions.

The first 2-3 weeks are very similar to that pretty picture. And heck, I now have an almost-6-month-old and a 2 1/2 year old. I STILL smile over them when they're sleeping. It means they're quiet for at least an hour.  After 3 weeks of no sleep, your bubble pops. You begin to realize that farting and smiling leads to a diaper change. A diaper change that does NOT smell like roses. Oh, and sometimes, they aren't done when you go to change them. Yup, Abigail left a stain on her bedroom wall, that girl has range!  Laundry becomes a time that you use to pray you got all of the mysterious stains out of your baby's cutest pair of jammies and showers become a 5 minute rush while you pray nothing explodes.

As for the computer, from 6AM until 5:59AM, you get exactly 30 minutes every 3 hours to get on it. Or, for me currently, both my kids are passed out in front of the evil television and I get to sit down for a few short minutes.  It's not a matter of not loving my kids, it's a matter of I have to also love myself and take a few minutes to myself.  As one other person best put their response, "I'm sorry (insert baby name here), it's not called multitasking, it means I don't love you".

Now, I respect the girls opinion, but really, if you've never flown the plane, don't judge those of us that do fly it....All. Frikkin. Day.

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